you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
