"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize