Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
