there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
