What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Panties = found
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
