Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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