I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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