Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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