did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
