Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
