It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize