That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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