I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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