We're facebook friends in real life
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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