Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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