i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
