evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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