Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize