Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
