you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize