And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize