Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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