May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
