i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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