i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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