i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
