Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
