May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
