just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize