i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
