i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
