the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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