Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
