Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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