Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
