We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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