Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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