How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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