11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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