and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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