look no pants
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
