im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
