You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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