your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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