she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
