I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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