Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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