Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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