I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
