Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
