I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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