tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
