And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
