I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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