careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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