I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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