Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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