oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize