pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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