An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
