Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
