I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In other news, I just burned my penis
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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