So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
