Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
