I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
