On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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