I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
