just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
