gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
