Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
