fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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