Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
