there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
