A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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